Resolution
Whereby:
American English shall strive for the continued simplification of its accepted lexicon, contrariwise to its British counterpart;
sensible words in the English language have a pleasing ratio of letters per syllable and relative alternation of consonants and vowels;
and
the human eye naturally recoils from that which is ugly and offensive.
Be it hereby resolved that the word eighth shall hereby be considered ugly and offensive by virtue of a) its having six letters comprising one syllable, and b) its having four consecutive consonants.
Pursuant to this resolution of acclamation, the recipient of said resolution shall forthwith abstain from the use of the word eighth in all communications, public and private, real and imagined. Said recipient shall substitute the word oth in all circumstances from which the use of eighth is abstained.
On this, the eighteenth day of February, two thousand four.
Posted by ned at February 18, 2004 02:03 PM